Random Rarebits 2

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Return to the nest?

I freaked out last night when a giant beetle ambushed me like a kamikaze fighter. I had to duck on the floor for cover and then sprinted to my bedroom and waited anxiously for the bug to go away. That bug had to be male on heat. Hehehe. This is one of the downsides of living alone - apart form being lonely and scared sometimes.

I had been thinking about returning to the nest - moving back to my mom's place - for quite some time. I think it would help my mom let go of some of her worries too. Worry is a misuse of the imagination, and my mom does have very strong imagination!

It was a sheer coincidence when a close friend who's looking for a place recently proposed to rent my apartment for about six months while he is looking for a permanent place of his own. Not only that, he offered to pay more than the market rental as he wants the apartment to be furnished. Means I don't have to move my furniture and worry where to store them while my apartment is being rented out.

I am tempted...moving back to my mom's place is not such a bad idea. Afterall, it's only for six months. I can move back later if living with my mom doesn't quite work out, in view of both of us being strong characters.

I think in view of recent robbery at my mom's place and the fact that there's only my mom, my brother and our maid living at the huge six bedroom house, it would be good for me to return to the nest. Because my brother is always traveling overseas (sometimes he went missing in action for a week or two - and then we received a postcard from some country from him) or out with his new girlfriend, my mom would be alone with our maid.

Having me stay at my mom's place would increase the total household count and therefore, theoretically, increases a perceived degree of safety in numbers. Am I making sense here?

I'm seriously contemplating this move....

Emotional benefits

...My mom would have peace of mind
...I won't come home to an empty house
...I could spend more time with my mom - female bonding hahaha!
...I could get to know my mom better
...Everytime I spent time talking to my mom I discover new things
...I don't have to deal with terrifying bugs alone
...I have two cats to play with

Financial benefits

...The rent would pay for my housing loan, that's a huge savings
...I could save more money for my future travels
...I could invest the savings for rainy days
...I could use the savings to reduce my credit card debts
...I save fuel because my mom's place is closer to my office

Fringe benefits

...I get homecooked meals everyday
...I can do experimental cook and have a ready audience (hehehe)
...I get air-conditioned bedroom, and get back my old room
...I don't have to clean my bathroom (no more allergies to detergent)
...I don't have to make my bed if I wdon't want to
...I don't have to do laundry and ironing
...I get internet access 24 hours a day

I thought I would be losing my privacy when I move back to my mom's place, but when I think about it, what privacy do I have now? My mom comes over to my place like everyday - what's the difference anyways, I'm not enjoying any privacy right now anyways. BTW my mom is managing the convenience store business at my condo building, so she comes up to my apartment to rest and pray. Thank God, my mom doesn't mind my friends lepak at the house or even stay over, as long as they respect her and no hanky panky, of course.

So, what I would be really giving up are...

...Beer, sex and drugs! (Not into those!)
...Wild parties (I quit partying...)
...Having orgies (hahaha I wish!)
...Cuddling and snuggling
...My solitude (whenever I need it)
...Clubbing (hmmm not that I missed it)
...Greenery as I drive into Bukit Indah
...Crispy breeze from the hilly forest
...Great view of the city skyline from my balcony
...Walking around buck naked in my apartment
...Sleeping in whole day (sometimes)
...Staying out late at night

What I can make peace with...
...I would remain celibate... (not having sex anyways)
...I may disagree with my mom but...
...I have only one mom - she's irreplaceable

So help me here. What do you think? Tell me...

Move back to my mom's place? Or stay put at my apartment?


  • Well babes, to me personal development is very important. When you have freedom of any form - speech, thought or action, your mind and spirit grows with it. There is a saying "There is no prosthetic for an amputated spirit". How true, as I had the fortune (or misfortune?) to have lived it.

    Living with mom has many comfort plus-points - I wildly agree with all the points you stated. But above and beyond all the comforts of monetary and tangible luxuries is a paralysis that is worse than a cancer growth - your freedom. As much as we love our Moms (I am fiercely dedicated to mine), there will be a time when you just don't need their smothering affection.
    There will come a day when you have to tell them NEVER to wait for you for dinner.
    There will come a day when you have to tell them you don't want to spend the evening with them.
    There will come a day when you have to explain why you are spending so many nights at "a friend's place".
    There will come a day when you have to tell them YOU JUST DON'T CARE WHAT DETERGENT SHE BUYS!!!
    There will come a day when you have to walk out in the middle of a conversation because you don't give a fuck about what happened to 3rd aunty's cousin's cat.
    There will come a day when you have to tell your mom not to touch your laundry because she keeps questioning you about those plunging necklines, those revealing fabrics, and those strings you call undies.

    And when that day comes, you know that it will hurt you more than it will hurt your Mom. Will you be able to bring yourself to do it? Will you be able to live with yourself after?

    I couldn't. And I left after 2 years of living with my Mom. You will come to realise that in order to love somebody, you have to see that person in a happy light. That person has to be someone yu adore, miss, want to be with forever (but not literally lah). You can't do it if you've bred negative ions in your body, mind and spirit towards that person.

    I stayed out. And I think I love my Mom more for it because we'll kill each other if we stayed together.


    By Anonymous Belle of The Party, at Wed May 24, 02:05:00 PM 2006  

  • Hey babe,

    Go home. I mean that in the kindest way really....

    It's hard to see the value of it until you're there, even harder when you find your mom going through your stuff or tell you off for sleeping in.

    But consider further, not so tangible benefits. I've recently lost a grandmother, and seeing my mother grieve for her loss, makes you wonder about the inevitable future, that you're gonna one day lose her too and you're probably going to grieve your loss very much the same way she is presently....

    I've got a very melancholic take on this, I'm sorry. But midst our busy and hectic style of living, makes little room for our moms. It takes a traumatic event such as losing an important someone in your life to remember that every minute, every kind word, every shared laughter counts.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed May 24, 04:01:00 PM 2006  

  • Salaam Nel!

    What belle says is all so true!

    But I strongly believe if what you're doing is out of concern for your mum's welfare, you're on the right track. Since your brother is also there, I think being with family again would be good. There's also the maid which means you're not burdening your mum. I think she'd also sleep peacefully at night knowing where you are ;)

    Since last year, my mum has been living with me. There's a lot of things I've had to sacrifice, but she's worth it! I sleep better knowing that she's just a flight of stairs away rather than in another city. Her house had been burglarized several times too. Thank God, she was never home whenever it happened.

    By Anonymous Intan, at Wed May 24, 11:25:00 PM 2006  

  • Nel,

    Since you have listed all the pros and cons... the pros' list longer than the other...

    Conclusion... live with your mom, at least for some time... figure ol' time sake n memories... mesti best punye... it is not like you gonna spend your whole life there right... tukar angin la... gud for health n fengshui too... **wink**



    By Blogger ~ iT's thE hAppY fLaVoR tHat rEaLLy cOuNts ~, at Thu May 25, 01:27:00 PM 2006  

  • About your blog on weather you should stay with your mom or not.... I would say, stay with your mom. Before the world war 2, families stayed together. Even after their marriage, everyone lived together and eat and share everything. But today, everyone want to live on their own instead. It only shows that people care less about families these days. Live there while you can. When you really want, it might be too late especially when our parents get older by days. By the way, I always like your blogs. Cheers! Roy(summermsia)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu May 25, 07:00:00 PM 2006  

  • just for 6 month konon. aik baik ko sewakan umah tu terus sampai ko rasa nak amik balik. pastu ko cari umah lain.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Fri May 26, 05:21:00 PM 2006  

  • so ever thinking of writing books? membazir jek bakat. cuba la buat novel...sehari satu page setahundah siap dah buku. xde la sunyi bak kata lam blog tuh

    vern eric

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Mon May 29, 04:56:00 PM 2006  

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