Many splendoured thing

If love is a many splendoured thing, then I'm just not as fortunate enough to capture those many splendours and make them mine.

If love is taking a walk in the park, I must have missed that gazebo. If love is like a maze, then I am lost somewhere. If love is a capitalist economy, there's obviously a terrible mismatch in the demand and supply. If love is a double edged sword. I've been on both edges of the sword - it hurts when someone you love doesn't feel the same way about you. It hurts too when you know someone loves you and you're not able to feel the same way. If love is a jetplane, mine is still circling in mid air waiting for permission to land.

Somehow love seems to elude me - something is always missing from the equations...

I don't wanna think about love anymore. It's a remote possibility. Feel like giving up on love - the roads I've traveled on had left me with too many heartaches. It's too painful to walk on love's path. I feel like dying inside.

I want to quit this game before I am defeated, fall apart and break into pieces like glass.

My heart is singing this song called Dealova, sung by Once (pronounced as on-che) of this Indonesian group called Dewa. To who? I dunno...

Dealova - by Once (OST Dealova)

Aku ingin menjadi
Mimpi indah dalam tidurmu
Aku ingin menjadi
Sesuatu yang mungkin bisa kau rindu

Karena langkah merapuh
Tanpa dirimu
Oh
Karena hati telah letih

Aku ingin menjadi
Sesuatu yang selalu bisa kau sentuh
Aku ingin kau tau
Bahwa aku selalu memujamu

Tanpamu sepinya waktu
Merantai hati
Oh
Bayangmu seakan-akan..

Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku
Yang memanggil rinduku padamu
Seperti udara yang kuhela
Kau selalu ada

Oh..

Hanya dirimu
Yang bisa membuatku tenang
Tanpa dirimu
Aku merasa hilang
Dan sepi..
Dan sepi...

Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku
Yang memanggil rinduku padamu
Seperti udara yang kuhela
Kau selalu ada

Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku
Yang memanggil rinduku padamu
Seperti udara yang kuhela
Kau selalu ada

Selalu ada...
Kau selalu ada..
Selalu ada..
Kau selalu ada...

I was feeling sad I cried myself to sleep last night...that was really very painful. If you had been where I am right now, you'd know how I feel.

If love is a many splendoured thing, why does it hurt so terribly?