Crash, Boom, Bang!

I think I've over-reacted to my circumstances lately. Perhaps, just perhaps, I'm quite allergic to this thing called love. Just like what my close friends pointed out to me, I'm such a hopeless romantic. When I'm in love, I tend to lose my focus on other things in life and other people. I gave all my heart and soul to love. I gave too much. Hehehe what can I say...I must have a big heart eh?

I think I should now learn from my lessons in love.



Just like that Crash! Boom! Bang! song that Roxette sang...

My Papa told me to stay out of trouble
When you've found your man, make sure he's for real
I've learnt that nothing really lasts for ever
I sleep the scars I wear that won't heal
They won't heal

Cos' every time I seem to fall in love
CRASH! BOOM! BANG!
I find the heart but then I hit the wall
CRASH! BOOM! BANG!
That's the call, that's the game
and the pain stays the same

I spent last night thinking hard after watching an opera called Bangsawan Naga Chini at Istana Budaya with Belle of the Party. We got complimetary tickets from Tony Eusoff, who played Aria Chakra a peace envoy from Kemboja Sari in serach of Kota Gelanggi but was stranded in Paya Chini. That was my first experience watching a bangsawan, a traditional Malay opera that was once called wayang parsi.

It's a story of how love for one woman, Puteri Mayang Sari, brought about war between two men, Arus Putra and Gempita Sakti who are twin brothers. The opera subtly reflects the reality of today's life intertwined in myth and legend.

My question is, if love is pure and beautiful, how can it bring about so much hatred, pride and prejudice? Love should bring peace - not war.



After re-evaluating my life as a whole, perhaps my friends were right about me. When it rains, it pours and it was raining cats and dogs inside my heart last night.

Emotionally flooding, I wrote an impromptu verse on love I wrote, if you can call it a poem lah. I'll just call it "For Love..."

Love is my strength and my weakness
For love I thrive to great heights
For love I fall down on my knees
For love I'm fueled by its fire
For love I drowned in its river
For love I shouted joyful tears
For love I cried silent tears of despair
Love is my tonic and my poison

At the moment, there is only one thing left that I could do to change my situation - change my attitude towards love. As they say, better attitudes lead to better choices in life. Hence, better choices lead to better results, especially when it comes to love. Errr....and being a capitalist, I must say...and money...hehehe...

"A happy person is not a person
in a certain set of circumstances,
but rather a person
with a certain set of attitudes."

- Hugh Downs

I shall from this moment on, focus on gratitude - to God and to people who matters. For all I know, could it be that I am already wealthy and beloved in all the ways that truly count?