Defer, defy, deny, detest...

Marilyn Monroe was afraid of getting old, so she committed suicide so that people would never see her getting old.



I know a lot of women are afraid of getting old. They defer, defy and deny age. Sometimes, I do too. Nonetheless, personally, I have never come across someone (outside Hollywood, Bollywood, celebrities and showbiz circles) who not only defer, defy and deny age, but is also terribly defiant about age that she will detest God's fitrah as this one friend of mine, Virtual Reality.

Virtual Reality is like a 5 year old trapped in the body of a 45+ year old. Like some, if not most, of our mutuals friends described her, "mengada-ngada dan tak sedar diri". Well, that didn't come from me. Thus, I rest my case. I've always been very civil and politically correct of my description of Virtual Reality.

But even then, sometimes I feel that Virtual Reality shouldn't have been acting the way she does, it's very unbecoming for her age. Not a pretty sight and sometimes Virtual Reality embarrased me, big time. Especially with her hysterical hyena like laugh where she snorts at the end. I tried to share her joy but that sound disturbs me all the time. To be kind to us both, I would never introduce Virtual Reality into any of my politically correct and polite society circles. I don't think Virtual Reality would be comfortable to be in such circles or would want to be there either. Most part of Virtual Reality's world is the chatroom if not at work, and friends from work, and the chatroom. That's where I met Virtual Reality.

As my best friend Belle of the Party always teased me from ever since I can remember, I just have to be politically correct all the time. Especially in describing people I tend to be nicer. Hehe I can't help it...

Anyways, Virtual Reality is at an age that is not old, but not young either. But if she were to call my mom "makcik", that is a bit melampau, because my mom is just a tad bit more than ten years older than Virtual Reality. She probably called my mom "makcik" because I was her friend. But then again, to be politically correct, we cannot be too linear in our thinking as the world itself is not linear. For example, even some of my mom's friends who my age or younger, would call my mom "kakak" and not "makcik".

My mom voiced out to me she's not happy being called "makcik" by someone who's not much younger than her. I tried to tell Virtual Reality but she got the wrong message. She thinks I'm telling her she's old. I don't mean it that way. But as she was adamant I just let her stick to her belief and agree with her that she is old.

No point changing Virtual Reality's belief. Waste of my time, really. Perhaps, sometimes you have to cruel to be kind, especially when she in turn described my mom as "ego, tak terima hakikat, tak sedar diri dah tua". I feel like Virtual Reality is actually describing her very self when she said those very words...

I will not try to be politically correct, this time. Dear God, give me courage to change the things that I can, give me patience to tolerate the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amin!

I do understand my mom's feelings when Virtual Reality calls her "makcik". Virtual Reality is just ten years older than I am. What if I were to call Virtual Reality "makcik" too? Hehe...

I guess, that's where our social system and upbringing went wrong. We didn't teach our kids to not call women who is less than 25-30 years older than them "makcik" or "auntie". What is wrong with calling them "kakak"? Wait till you get into their shoes and see how you feel being untimely called "makcik" or "auntie".

Sometimes those people at McDonald's and KFC who hired school leavers have this habit of calling customers like me "makcik" or "auntie". Even "kakak" doesn't sound THAT bad. Like, "kak boleh saya ambil pesanan?" What is wrong with calling customers "cik", "puan" or even "maam" or "miss"? Sounds more professional.

You don't have to be a fine dining restaurant to extend your courtesy to customers.

"Boleh saya ambil pesanan cik?"

"Can I take your order, miss?"

"What would you like to order, maam?"

I turned 36 yesterday. Alhamdulillah I welcome age with the same pleasure that equals to an achievement. I believe that every year that I live a relatively healthy, happy and wealthy life is a great blessing from Allah.

Yeah, I'm 36 now, and I do have one or two fine lines at the corner of my eyes, and mouth. Crow's feet and laugh lines, that's what they call it, I think. I cannot say it doesn't bother at all, but it doesn't bother me too much. Not enough for me not to have a good night's sleep.

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