Random Rarebits 2

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Anger Management 101

There more to life than love relationships. I would rather work toward my personal development so that I can be a better person and happier too with or without a love life. Whitney Houston sang, "learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all..." Well, let me correct that, loving yourself would be the second greatest love of all, because loving God would always have to come first and foremost. Hehe am trying to be a good Muslim here.



German political scientist Karl Wolfgang Deutsch once said, "The single greatest power in the world today is the power to change. The most recklessly irresponsible things we could do in the future would be to go on exactly as we have in the past ten or twenty years?"

My first step in changing my life is to change what I don't like about myself. Then I'd like myself better because eventually I would be the person I desire to become.

A Chinese Epigram I recently came across said, "If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."



So, the first thing I want to change about myself is my tendency to be impulsive espcially with what I said to people who angered me. It's created some frictions in some of my relationships. No doubt I hardly show my anger, but when I do I tend to make my subject very very small. It's terrible of me, I know, but sometimes I just can't help it. If you only knew what kind of animals I'm dealing with to be angered as such. But still, that's a lame excuse. No matter how angry, I gotta keep my cool. If I can keep my cool at work, I should be able to take the same approach for my personal life.

Hehehe I remember when I was younger and life was slower than it is now, I used to have more patience and tact with everyone, and my thoughts and emotions were very aligned. My friends and colleagues used to describe me as Ms Calm, Cool & Collected because nothing actually angered me even with The Ex-Hubby's strings of extra marital affairs.



I dunno what happened there, but I think I changed after my divorce. Sometimes, I think I am still in trauma, shock, denial, whatever! Because The Ex Hubby abandoned me so suddenly, a closure from The Ex Hubby would help a lot. The strings of trials and errors did not help much. Now I'm determined not to have another relationship until I align my thoughts and emotions like the mechanisms in a clockwork.

So yes, better management of my emotions is my main agenda right now. Hehe back to school for "Anger Management 101" it is for me. Hehe it reminds me of a movie Adam Sandler starred in, "Anger Management". If I can overcome my anger and manage it better and turn it around into something positive, I would be calmer and would keep my cool in any situation in future. That would be my resolve for the next hundred days.

11 Comments:

  • hey there, dont you listen to whitney houston. she has not been loving herself at all.

    but that's a good resolution, to stay calmer. blogging is good. a visitor to my blog, pascuale, says his blood pressure has gone down and stayed down since he entered blogsphere. i guess he gets to let off steam (of course, it's usually at the expense of someone else, but then again it's fair game in here, isnt it?).

    i've learnt to stay calm by delaying, for a couple of seconds, every reaction to any situation that is sensitive or provocative in nature. the couple of seconds allow me to think, take stock, assess. it works most of the time. if you let yourself go without thinking, that's called knee-jerk reaction on your part. which makes you a jerk in other people's eyes.

    a junior minister has been knee-jerking in the last few days in dealing with dr mahathir's queries. i know you stay away from politics, which does not necessarily make you calmer, but the minister is an example of what a jerk we can be if we don't stay calm.

    By Blogger rockybru, at Thu Jun 29, 08:27:00 PM 2006  

  • Try these whenever you are angry:
    1. Recite Ya Halim (Patient), which is one of the attributes of God, being the Mild One..
    2. Change body position. Eg. from sitting to standing, etc.
    3. Wash your face with cold water or take shower or wudhu (the opponent of fire=anger is water)

    By Anonymous nadialoretta, at Fri Jun 30, 01:40:00 AM 2006  

  • woop love urself more than other hmm sound good but not the best cause we use to love other more than ourself anyway think for urself before other will help ourself n other in both direction cause u r not disturbing other gosh u r satanic anger do keep calm or just ignore d thing or oher who border u hehehe just like myself anyway keep on may peace be upon u n alway recite god name

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Fri Jun 30, 04:05:00 AM 2006  

  • bro rocky, that's rite don't listen to whitney, she's on drugs. you're rite about the affects of blogging on us. blogging is like a therapist who won't charge us exorbitant fees, except that it's a monologue.

    on that note, having other bloggers and visitors commenting especially very constructive comments is like having feedback from the therapist.

    that's why i like reading comments from bloggers and visitors to my blog. some make me laugh, some make me think, some make my day :)

    By Blogger Nel, at Fri Jun 30, 05:39:00 PM 2006  

  • nadia, good advice. i shall try :)

    anonymous, i do have difficulty in understanding your comment because there's no commas and full stops. anyways, thanks for writing...

    By Blogger Nel, at Fri Jun 30, 05:42:00 PM 2006  

  • You will mellow with age but you can learn not to be angry now.

    By Blogger Bustaman, at Fri Jun 30, 05:52:00 PM 2006  

  • hi liza!

    u know what, i strongly believe that working out, i.e. exercising, also has a good effect on our anger level...i'm talking from my own experience: ever since i started my fitness and so-called healthy eating routine;-), I've become less grumpy and irritable and my friends were really surprised to see how cheerful I've become and how I don't get mad or pissed of easily anymore. Must be due to the endorphins released by the body! The best part is, I've already lost 6kg in the past 2 months!:-D

    By Blogger miss elly, at Fri Jun 30, 06:26:00 PM 2006  

  • pok ku, my wise sage :)

    miss elly, i just started to do brisk walking a week ago, well haven't lost much weight yet but feels lighter tho. thanks for your saranan :)

    By Blogger Nel, at Sat Jul 01, 08:56:00 AM 2006  

  • When angry count to four, when very angry, swear :)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Jul 04, 09:47:00 AM 2006  

  • Anger or hatred is like a fisherman's hook. It is very important for us to ensure that we are not caught by it.

    - Dalai Lama

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Jul 05, 02:27:00 PM 2006  

  • Please write to me at robertssa88@yahoo.com...TQ...

    By Anonymous Robert, at Thu Jul 13, 11:50:00 AM 2006  

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