Random Rarebits 2

Friday, September 01, 2006

Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road?

What The Experts Had To Say...



Kindergarten teacher: "Because it wanted to get to the other side."

Aristotle: "It is the nature of chickens to cross roads."

Ronald Reagan: "I forget."

Arthur Andersen (consultant): "Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competences required for the newly competitive market. Andersen, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework."

Richard M. Nixon: "The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road."

Computer Programmer: "In order for the chicken to cross the road safely they would need more than one driver to access the server farm, if not they will hang in the middle of the road."

Jerry Seinfeld: "Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?""

Bill Gates: "I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook."



Dr M: "You know, I am tired of all this...'apa-namaaaa' chicken-chicken bisnes. The foreign powers should stop intervening in our domestic affairs and just leave our chickens alone. If they want to 'apa namaaaa' cross the road, they should be allowed to cross the road. Malaysia is a democratic country; we let our chickens do whatever they want to do, as long as they don't threaten the Malay unity and try to topple the government, and if they plan to do so, we won't hesitate to use the ISA."

Pak Lah: "Ini semua adalah khabar angin sahaja. Jangan percaya khabar-khabar angin ini semua. Biasalah ini adalah taktik pembangkang untuk memecah belahkan perpaduan ayam-ayam semua. Jangan percaya. Jangan percaya."

Sammy Vellu: "Ayyooyoo! Belakang cerita lain kali, kita sude bikin banyak jembatan, itu ayam musti guna jembatan untuk lintas itu jalan lagi pun kalu itu ayam mau pigi jalan-jalan, beritau sama saya juga, saya bolley buat lebbey banyak toll."

Karam Singh Walia: "Seperti yang saudara dapat lihat, kelihatan ayam-ayam itu sedang melintas jalan. Mereka bukan sahaja melintas jalan, malah membuang najis di atas jalan dan ini adalah pencemaran yang paling hebat di maya ini. Bapa-bapa dan ibu-ibu ayam haruslah mengambil inisiatif untuk melatih ayam-ayam agar menahan najis sewaktu melintas jalan, sekian saya sudahi dengan. Ayam di jalan di lintaskan; ayam di reban mati tak makan."

Colonel Sanders: "I missed one?"



Bill Clinton: "I've had so many chicks, I can't remember."

Wan Kamarudin: "Ape kejadahnyer ini semua, KL dah jadik reban ayam, mak bapak ayam asyik menganga saje."

Zainal Ariffin Ismail: "Ada saksi menyatakan yang mereka dapat melihat ayam-ayam ini melintasi jalan-jalan di kampung ini pada waktu malam. Ada yang menyatakan ayam-ayam ini merupakan penyamaran jin. Dan ada juga mengaitkan ia berkaitan dengan peristiwa silam di kampung ini. Apakah sebenarnya maksud tersirat ayam-ayam ini melintas jalan? Oleh itu saya akhiri, "Jangan biarkan hidup anda diselubungi misteri."

Zainal Alam Kadir: "Ayam siapa kalau bukan ayam kita."

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